5-Pack Volume 1

Words & Music by Ken Weiler

Another Wednesday night in my hometown. Just picked my buddy Devon up off the ground. There’s this girl see, one for him and one for me. Gotta stop this boredom from destroying me.

People ask me if I’ll stay or if I’ll go. I look deep into their eyes and say “I don’t know.” I don’t care if you think that I am queer. I rock the Karaoke Kasbah with no fear.

I wanna sing as high as Sting, I wanna live that rock star dream. If I don’t win a gold Grammy I’d be happy to be crowned Karaoke King.

Feels like I’m living on the set of Cheers. All my friends are here laughing and drinking beers. My girlfriend thinks that I am living like a child. Looks like my baby just ain’t Born To Be Wild.

I wanna have hot groupie sex, I wish that I was in Aerosmith. I will fulfill this fantasy and I will rule as Karaoke King.

It’s in the way that I move. it’s in the way that I groove. It’s in the songs that I sing. It’s not about the voice it’s all about the choice and of course how you twerk your thing.

Now that I’m 69 and getting up in years, I think of all my wives and all of my careers. But there’s one thing that still brings me to tears. I won Karaoke Fest for 45 straight years.

I wanna sing as high as Sting, I wanna live that rock star dream. If I don’t win a gold Grammy I’d be happy to be crowned Karaoke King.

I wanna have hot groupie sex, be Steven Tyler of Aerosmith. I will fulfill this fantasy, if I have to become the Karaoke, I will be Karaoke, I am The Karaoke King.

Words & Music by Stefan Marks

Mind over matter though this bed it could be better I gotta better things to do than stay awake and not forget her… Everytime I sleep I dig it just a little deeper… buryin’ the marryin’ ideas cause I can’t keep her…

I pray each night as I lie down to sleep that if there is a God he will finally reach down thru the clouds and into my bed and mother me or smother me and leave me for dead… Dear Lord up in the sky, Let tonight be the night I die… Go ahead I dare you…

Cause I’m so tired of sleepin’ on a… Bed a nails… I lie on… On a… Bed a nails… I live on…

I was a man who used to think that things just happened randomly. But now I see that I can’t see what I thought I saw happenin’ to me. So I made my bed in which I lie. And I focused hard and I tried and I tried to be positive oh so positive I am positive… that it’s not working…

They told me that’d I have to change… That the struggles were deep within my brain… I see the world a certain way… But it’s not the way it is… No I am wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong… Oh so wrong… It’s like jumpin’ up and down on a Bed a nails… I lie on… On a… Bed a nails… I live on everyday.

Look don’t touch you must commit… One and only is all you get. But she’s so sexy… She is too… And her and her and her and her… her and her and her and her… Her and her and her and her and her and her and her and her… What am I supposed to do?

I may be lonely, but I’d rather be alone than be with her and have her hate me and then one day I’d hate me too. Things were good and things were bad then good again and not so good. Bad, good, good, bad, badder, better, not good, not much better, bad, worse, badder, baddest, fine…

Say what you want about me. Do what you want without me. Can you see a life without me? Cause I’m lookin’ at a life without you.

Wanna, gotta, gotta, wanna what I feel… Gotta, wanna, wanna, gotta what I need… Wanna kiss her, gotta kiss her, wanna touch her, gotta touch her…It’s like makin’ love on a…

Bed a nails… I lie on… On a… Bed a nails… I live on everyday

Words & Music by Stefan Marks

Can’t u just tell me how you want me to be… where you want me to stand, what you want me to wear… Run it down for me one more time… What you want me to think and what you want me to say… Take my keys and get in the driver’s seat cause you’re driving me insane.

Why do I need to be me when we can both be you?

We met, now I gotta meet yer friends, meet mine. Gotta like ‘em, if you don’t that’s fine. Yeah right… Date, date…r u my mate…? Or is it time to take a break?

Ya got… every right to be yourself but let’s leave the books on the ole’ book shelf. I don’t wanna hear how I’m s’posed to be. All the rules I’m breakin’ is makin’ me me.

What do I see in you? And what the hell do you see in me? Why do I need to be me when we can both be you?

Complexity is sexy but I have to simplify. I can see the damage that’s it’s doing to my mind. Too many colors in the rainbow. Too many channels on the ole’ tv. Too much yet not enough. Come on baby set me free.

Do you think it was a good idea to say yes when I asked you out? I always get lost when I follow my heart. Cupid throw a hatchet and cut us apart. I’m the corpse in the passenger seat. Please somebody rescue me. Do you wanna take a nice long drive in a car that used to me mine? We can round the bend and meet our end. Aim for the guard rail and let’s fly.

Not only can’t I be you but if I stay I can’t be me…

Can’t u just tell me how you want me to be… where you want me to stand, what you want me to wear… Run it down for me one more time… What you want me to think and what you want me to say… Take my keys and get in the driver’s seat cause you’re driving me insane.

Why do I need to be me when we can both be you?

Words & Music by Matt Kaminsky

The corner coffee shop. It is my favorite stop.  There is a coffee girl. Behind the counter she makes my Frappuccinos in her little apron. I feel movement in my Chinos every time she sprays the whip cream. And sometimes she spills it over and it drips on down the cup. Although she thinks that no one’s looking I watch her slowly lick it up.

And the smell of Juan Valdez is in the air. I picture wind blowin’ through her hair. But when she hands it to me I just stare. And she says, “Thank you, Mister. That’ll be $3.50, please.” I hate when hot chicks call me mister.  I’d like to see her on her knees. Yes, this Coffee Girl can grind my beans whenever she do please.

She’s the Coffee Girl. And my blood’s percolating for the Coffee Girl. And I’m anticipating something hot here is brewing, though I don’t know what I’m doing ’cause I never have a second cup at home. I’m just tired of being alone. I wanna be with Coffee Girl.

I wanna French Roast her mouth ’cause I like her lips a latté. I am Chock Full Of Nuts for her heavenly body. She is this Taster’s Choice. I’d like to breathe her sweet aroma. Come on over. Coffee Girl…come on over.

But in the coffee shop she’s making coffee for the other patrons. She don’t notice that my face is smashed against the muffin counter in the hopes I’ll steal a peak of a different kind of muffin. Her skirt is short. My knees are weak. As my lips press hard against the counter glass I think I start to do something crass. Then Coffee Girl comes up to me at last.

And she says, “Excuse me, Mister. I’ll have to ask you to leave.” Again she calls me “Mister.” Oh my God, I can’t believe that this Coffee Girl can break my heart when my heart’s out on my sleeve.

She’s the Coffee Girl. And my blood’s percolating for the Coffee Girl. I’m still anticipating something hot will be brewing, though I don’t know what I’m doing ’cause I never have a second cup at home. I’m just tired of being alone. I wanna be with Coffee Girl. I’m gonna be with Coffee Girl. I want my good to the last drop girl.

Words & Music by Stefan Marks

When you come to realize that all your friends are simply gonna die. And somewhere in between you’re gonna go too. Never leave home without your parachute.

You know you’re headed for the ground. There’s only one way down… Just use the open door. You gotta psych yourself up now. To risk your future but how do you count down to one?

Feels like my life is racin’ past me. Sorta feels like I’ve already jumped. The end is rushing up to meet me. Suddenly I’m falling… I am off… 4…

My girlfriend’s a girl, but she’s not my friend. One outa two ain’t bad when you get in bed. But it never seems enough at this altitude. So I never leave home without my parachute.

I wasn’t looking to escape. But when I saw her I knew I would never be the same. I’ll never have the love I want unless I lose the love I have. Am I counting down to one?

I’ve got no time to sit and waste. My life is falling through the sky. And it would make my landing easier if I could finally answer, “Why?”

When you come to realize that all your friends are gonna die…And somewhere in between you’ll go too…Don’t ever leave home without your parachute.

You know you’re headed for the ground but you can slow it down with a parachute. You gotta psych yourself up now to risk your future but how do you count down to one?

5… 4… 3… 2… 1…

5… 4… 3… 2… 1…

5… 4… 3… 2… 1…