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Genre: Folk

Music that originates in traditional popular culture or that is written in such a style.

What The Hell Happened?

Music from

“WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?”

A Two-Act Musical Comedy Stage Production

SONG LYRICS

To many words…. Just listen to this one on your own.  You can figure it out.  We’re pretty articulate.

Words & Music by Stefan Marks

Oh, the sunshine is so bright…out here. The corn it grows so high…out here. The girls they are so cute…out here. Who would ever go anywhere else?

The sky is blue. The stars are true. There’s always some-en fun to do. I love to jump and say “Whoo-hoo!” Who would ever go anywhere else?

Oh… Some folks they are full a hate. Now I may over compensate by lovin’ squirrels and bugs and bees and always sayin’ thanks and please.

Shakin’ hands is fine for me. Respect for a woman comes naturally. Why buy the milk when the cow is free. No I don’t wanna marry a whore. No I don’t wanna marry a whore. No I don’t wanna marry a whore.

I’d be friends with a whore. Hopefully REAL good friends.

But I will not marry a whore. YEE-HAW!

Words & Music by Matt Kaminsky

Please forgive me, Love. Apologies are not enough. I swear to hold you high above if you will just forgive me, Love.

If you won’t let me see you. Then take me eyes. I’m blind without you. This broken heart can’t mend without you, my Love.

I was cold. And I was young. And I was petty, I was callous, I was wrong.

Dear God above, what have I done? I pledge my soul to you.

I will be waiting here. Without your love I’ll disappear. Become one with the atmosphere, my Love!

Words & Music by Stefan Marks

Okay. No more more banjo.

Words & Music by Stefan Marks

Words & Music by Stefan Marks

This next song is an Italian love ballad written entirely in Swahilian tongues that celebrates the much famed Genoan Romanticism of the early 17th century post master general. But it also kinda delves pretty deeply into the pre-proliteriat rise of the Venetian Stamp Collecting Regime under Benito Mussolini. And I think it was the Great Greek philosopher Hysterectomy who said, “To Be Perfectly Honest, I’m lying.”

Do you know the way-hey to a gentleman’s heart? Ask a million folks and you’ll get a million different answers. But I can tell you one sure fire way. All you have to do is listen to what I say. First you take a scalpel—

By the way, portions of this song—particularly portions of this song directly following this vamp may be deemed unsuitable for younger listening audiences.

You’re supposed to warn people before the song starts. I forgot. You always forget. So do you. What? Forget. Forget what? We all seem to forget. You forget too. Shut up. Ok. Where were we? I forget. Holding a scalpel. Right.

Scalpel! Scalpel! Scalpel! Ohhh… First you take a scalpel. And you make a slice like this. Then you put your hands here and you rip yourself a hole. Then you bust my rib cage and thrust your fists within. Grab that pulsing red blob. Just yank it out you got my heart you win!

Words & Music by Stefan Marks

I asked you if you loved me and you said why? Wrong answer—

Words & Music by Stefan Marks

The keeper of the flame – He holds the fire tight! Living in a castle on a cloud up in the sky! Raining down upon me, fall the ashes of the dead. What do I need to sing about to get you into bed?

Romantic crap like battle and the things I’ll do for love. Knights in shining armor and the dragons fight above. Pretend I’m tall and skinny with long hair upon my head. Whatever I need to sing about to get you into bed.

Ahhhh… Ahhhh…

Cause… I can’t stand. No, I can’t stand. I can’t stand… Bein’ in joke band.

Words by Matt Kaminsky & Stefan Marks. Music by Matt Kaminsky

You make me say “I love you” on the phone when we are done. And you don’t let me watch the game when Oprah Winfrey’s on. You make me sit down when I pee ’cause ya think that standing’s wrong. Tell me, what else could you do? You make me feel two foot two.

You make me hold your purse when we walk through the mall.  You talk about our love life – tell your friends that I am small. You send me to the store for tampons. You’ve got me by the balls.  Tell me, what is next from you?

Girl, take me from behind. I know it’s on your mind. Is that what you’ve in store? You whore.

Why wait? There’s nothing else to lose. What is there left from you? Emasculate me now. Meow!

Girl, take me from behind.

Words & Music by Stefan Marks

He stood beneath the lemon tree and said, “Why is life so sour to me?” Can’t you see what it could be to smile?

Go on. Move on. Get out of the shade. Take a walk in the sunshine before it’s too late.

I saw a young boy and I followed his lead. He looked strangely familiar as we walked from the tree.

He reminded me of a younger me. He was short and sure-footed and didn’t know where he was going.

But he led the way. And I let him lead. And the sun got hotter. And skin got burned. And we got real lost. And I started to ache. Unbearable thirst. I finally fell to the dirt. But he just keep walkin’. And he didn’t look back. I watched him get smaller… Then I died.

Words & Music by Stefan Marks

But I know my place! It’s to stand in the back and thump on the bass.

Stay in the back! Not allowed to sing.

Why can’t I sing? Is it genetic? Or is it cuz? I’m just a sidekick.

Don’t upstage us! Don’t be funny! Don’t tell jokes! No one paid money…TO SEE YOOUUUU… I mean MEEE…

I don’t care what he plays. Just make him stand way in the back and thump on the bassss.

Words & Music by Stefan Marks

La, la…La, la…La, la…

Can you hold on to me and still be who you used to be? Or will it change you? When you look at me do you see me as I see me or do you see me as I see you?

Look at you lookin at me lookin’ at you wonderin’ what the hell do I have to do to make you and me… we…

Cause what I see… In your eyes…Is that our hellos… are becoming goodbyes…

La, la…La, la…La, la…

And although I know that I loved you… Maybe I never did…And although I know that you loved me… Maybe you never did…

I wanna go where I can be the man I’ve always dreamed I’d be…

Don’t change, cause I don’t wanna change you. Please change, cause then I’ll really love you. Can’t change, cause then I will become you. I want you to be happy but I want me to be happy too.

Can’t see a way that we can fix this. One kiss just becomes another kiss. That kiss turns into the final kiss. Go away please stay we gotta find another way…

When you… See me… Do you… See us…See me the way that I see you…Can you… Will you… Stay… with me? Can u say that you’ll stay…If it gets tough… will you stay on or will you look to run…will you stay on? Or will you run away?

I wanna go where I can be the man I’ve always dreamed I’d be…

Can’t you be? Why not be? Could you be? Won’t you be? Will you be a friend to me? I don’t know why that you say that you’re here for me when you’re nowhere to be found.

Don’t change, cause I don’t wanna change you. Please change, cause then I’ll really love you. Can’t change, cause then I will become you. I want you to be happy but I want me to be happy too.

Can’t see a way that we can fix this. One kiss just becomes another kiss.That kiss turns into the final kiss. Go away please stay we gotta find another way…

(AT SAME TIME AS 4 LINES ABOVE.)

I wanna go where I can be the man I’ve always dreamed I’d be…

Can’t you be? Why not be? Could you be? Won’t you be? Will you be a friend to me? I don’t know why that you say that you’re here for me when you’re nowhere to be found…

And although I know that I loved you

(And I see…)

Maybe I never did…

(In your eyes…)

Oh and…I am sorry for all of the fighting…

(And I see…)

And I am sorry for all of the crying…

(In your eyes…)

And I am sorry for all the time wasted…

(And I see…)

But I will finally let you go…

let you go…

(How can I? Why should I? How can you?

Why would you? How can we? Why can’t we?

How could you let me go…)

Words & Music by Ken Weiler

Words & Music by Stefan Marks

If I could be anything I’d be your underwear. I’d spend all day just hugging you with a wide-eyed happy stare.

Please don’t try to change me. Let me be your only pair. You can take me off to wash me. But please handle me with care.

And before you put me on each morning… And you take me off at night… Just promise me that you’ll always love me too and you’re not a hermaphrodite.

Yes… If I could be anything I’d be your underwear. I’d spend all day just hugging you with a wide-eyed happy stare.

Words & Music by Matt Kaminsky

Well, I’m the type of guy who can settle down, but it doesn’t mean I won’t be foolin’ around. ‘Cause I like my sweets. I like to have me cake and eat it, too.  Well, what would you do? A piece of ass like this should be shared with you.

Well, well, well… Starkle, starkle, little twink. What the heck I are I think I need another martini. Put a second olive in my drink. Would ya, Buddy? Thank you, Buddy. A piece of ass like this ain’t afraid to stink.

Who wants a piece of me? Who wants a piece of me? I’ll get your drinks for free.  Who wants a piece of me?

Take a number. Form a line. One by one I’ll make you mine.  All you ladies drop your hubbies ’cause I got the only chubby that can make you feel so fine.

I pull my hands from my pocket, put my finger in your socket, and watch your body rock n’ roll.  And if you give me fifty dollars I am sure to make you holler. Make you tingle from your head to your toes.

‘Cause I’m a piece of ass and from the look of things you need a man like me to make you sing.

Who wants a piece of me? Who wants a piece of me? I’ll get your drinks for free. Who wants a piece of me?

Take a number. Form a line. One by one I’ll make you mine.  All you ladies drop your hubbies. I got the only chubby that can make you feel so fine.

I don’t know, but I would guess by the end of this song I’ll have you out of your dress.  I don’t know, but I foresee any one of you ladies comin’ home with me.

‘Cause I’m the type of guy who can settle down, but it doesn’t mean I won’t be foolin’ around. ‘Cause I like my sweets. I like to have me cake and eat it, too.  Well, what would you do? A piece of ass like this should be shared with you. A piece of ass like this should be shared with you. A piece of ass like this should be shared with you.

Words & Music by Stefan Marks

I’m Gonna Die You’re gonna too. But before we both go. I… love… meeeeeeeeeee…

Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah nah nah nah, I love me.

Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah nah nah nah, I love me.

No-oh I don’t love you. No I lovvvvvvve Meeeeee.

Words & Music by Matt Kaminsky

I love you. I love you. I love you, but you’re not a Jew. So goodbye. Yes, goodbye. This is goodbye.

I love you. Punim, I love you. Yes I love you, but you’re not Jew.  So goodbye. Goodbye. Yes, Goodbye.

I’m not a Fagela, my Shayna Maidela. But you don’t eat Bagelas. So I’ll have ta V’Ahavta on my own.

I love you. But my mother would hate you. Then I’d have this guilt, too, because you’re not a Jew. So goodbye. Goodbye. Yes, goodbye.

Goodbye. Shalom I cry. My Christian Love.

Words & Music by Stefan Marks

I had this friend who said that when he died he wanted to be just like me. Mm-hm. But I don’t know if I wanna be like him. God I feel so alone. No one thinks the way I do.

And I knew a girl who was pretty to look at as long as you didn’t have eyes. Good god. If beauty’s skin deep then damn she had thin skin. God I feel so alone. No one thinks the way I do.

I will run down to the ocean. And I will split the sea in two. I will explode the moon and pull the sun and boil and burn the world.

La, la, la, la etc…

Yes, I will stand and push the buttons and the skies will fill with steel. Oh yes I will bomb and bomb and bomb and bomb and bomb and bomb and bomb. Oh-oh.

La, la, la, la etc…

And I’ve got these nightmares microfiched on my eyelids. I don’t speak BRAILLE but I listen to the voices in my head. I’m starting to rot and my inner child wants OUT! God I feel so alone. So many people and yet it’s true. No one thinks the way I do.

No one thinks the way I do.

Words & Music by Stefan Marks

We’re a band and we’re called the Four Postmen. We wanna thank ya for comin’ to the show. We like to call ourselves the world’s greatest rock group. A 1,2,3 and a 5 and a 4.

I know sometimes it seems… like IT’S ALL ABOUT ME. But I’M YOUR MAN and you’re my woman. So come on Baby, won’t ya GIMME SOME SUGAR? I WANNA DANCE. Do you wanna join me? Will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you, won’t you, will you, will you join the dance?

Get off the stage! Stop yer singin’! When Irish Eyes are Smilin’… You suck!

WHAT CAN I DO TO CONVINCE YOU? That our team is RED HOT! Maybe one day we’ll birth the BABY JESUS. We’ll win THE LOTTO and we’ll move to RABBIT VALLEY. Ooh kooka lay kooka la kooka locka locka LO—-

Get off the stage! I’m tryin’ to get drunk! Down with the Postmen! Danny Boy!

The SUN comes up and the sun goes down! Cual es son la feche tu hermano es alto. LOST in VEGAS.  Lookin’ for my RIVER. I GOT me A TAN like David H. Ma Ma Ma Ma Ma Ma Ma Ma Maaaa – CATBOX!

Get off the stage! Off with their heads! Bring on the leprechauns! Green sleeves!

No more CRAZY LITTLE 5 YEAR OLD GIRLs! I’d have to be DRUNK to make love to you. To hell with you BLOOD SUCKIN’ POSTMEN. I’M GONNA DIE too but not before my GRANDMA. Help I’m stuck in an ANAL VICE.

Get off the stage! You take the high road! And I’ll take the back door! Get off the stage!

Shilelalee – shilackin! Please God, squash me with the Blarney Stone! For the Love of Erie!Get off the stage ya pansy, suckin’ U.S. Females! You’re like a black hole! You SUCK! For the sake of the baby Jesus bring on Bono! Sinead! Waterboys! Zamfir! Gene Kelley! Danny Kaye! Rose Marie! Little Bobby De Niro! Father Mickey O’ Rourke O’ Malley McMannis O’ Doodle, Mindy McConnel, Captain Bob Keeshan, Mc Duff, McDonald’s, McNuggets, a large POTATO famine fries and a bloody 69 cent ice cool! minty Shamrock Shake with a sprig a the friggin’ 4 leaf clover! – TO GO for the sake of the color GREEN and all red hot, red-blooded, green eyed, freckle-faced, red-headed lasses all cross the emerald skies from here to the bagpipin’ kingdom come, way oar to the end o’ the rainbow and the bleedin’ pot o’ gold Irish bullion rainin’ down upon the upturned mossy ‘eads a duh smokin’, glassy eyed bomb victims! Way kukka doodle diddle deedle daydle dairy dee tur upte ortum vessum nairy WEEBLE VORLUM VIFFER!!!!!…

A-1-2-3-4… Get off the stage! Get off the stage! Get off the stage!

U.S. MALE

SONG LYRICS

Words & Music by Stefan Marks

Words & Music by Stefan Marks

Last night I chased a fire-breathing dragon. I chased him to the top of a cliff over-looking the ocean. He said why did you chase me I’m a fire-breathing dragon. And I said Big Deal. So what ? Who cares. Big Woop.

And then he Breeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeathed! And I burst into flames and then I fell into the ocean.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Spwishhhhhhhhhh Blub..

Words & Music by Stefan Marks

Well I’m afraid some things are gonna have to change. Because frankly things just can’t stay this way. We’re tired of singin’ for free. We wanna make lots of money. Doesn’t everybody? Heyyyyyyyy? Are you listnin?

Ohhh say can you see? Nobody’s looking. By the dawn’s early light. Nobody’s listening. How’m I gonna get everyone to see me? They won’t put me on MTV. Just imagine how famous we could beeeee? Are you listnin?

I just wanna be the world’s most famous human. I want everybody to want to be like me. Everybody listnin to our songs. Everybody singin’ along. And everybody singing on keyyyy…. Are you listnin?

Words & Music by Stefan Marks

I asked you if you loved me and you said why? Wrong answer—

Words & Music by Stefan Marks

S.W.P. Single white postman who hates the taste of glue is looking for some desirable young woman to lick his stamp cause he’s got a letter to mail, if you know what I mean…

I always wanted to be an astronaut. I’d fly up high in a rocket and land on the moon. I’d bring three of my friends and a nerf and have a slow-motion football game… And we’d Never….Ever have to leave…‘cept maybe for AIR.

I always wanted to be Superman. I wouldn’t waste my time lookin’ thru things or flying’ around the world. I’d become a professional boxer and I’d beat people up for money. And I’d never ever lose… POW, BAM, ZIP, SPLAT…Go tiger!

I always wanted to be a lumberjack. I’d wear a wool cap, a plaid shirt and an old pair of blue jeans. Oh I’d live in a forest but there’s one thing I’d never do. No I’d never, ever chop down trees. And if I ever caught anyone chopping down a tree, I’d hit em’ hard in the face with my axe. Timber! Shut-up! Sorry.

I always wanted to be a post-man. I’d drive in a jeep then I’d walk down the streets of my neighborhood. Oh I’d drop off mail and I’d pick up letters from the boxes with the red flags. Then I’d go home and read all your mail. And steal all your checks…But seriously...

I always wanted to be… God. I’d be in charge of the only planet with humans. I’d get rid of em’ all except for this girl I know (and me) and I’d spend the rest of my life chasing her and catching her and (——) her.

I always wanted to beeeeeeeeeeeeee…

Words & Music by Stefan Marks

Words & Music by Stefan Marks

I hear the ghosts of the butchered Indians riding their horses down the boulevards. Setting up their tee-pee’s on the sidewalks. Waitin’ for the rain.

I hear the ghosts of the butchered Indians dancing in the streets and singing their songs. Waitin’ for the rain.

There’s a knock at my door and I open it up. There’s a ghost standin’ there so I let him in. He’s a big tall man with copper skin.Colorful feathers and I can see right thru him.

He says I am the chief of the butchered Indians. We have come to take our land back. Oh we’re just waitin’ for the rain.

I look out the window. Lookin’ up at the sky. The storms clouds are forming. The rain starts to fall. I turn to the chief, but he’s no longer there. He’s outside dancin’ in the rain.

Down in the streets rivers of people float down the avenues. When will the rain stop?

Words & Music by Ken Weiler

Words & Music by Stefan Marks

I don’t know my name anymore. I’m not sure what I do for a living. All I know is I like you. Yes I know that I doooooooooo.

I don’t even know who you are. I don’t mean to stare but I can’t seem to look away. All I know is I like you. Yes I know that I doooooooooooo.

Words & Music by Stefan Marks

Do you suppose vampires are more attracted to women who are menstruating? I know I am.

Well I don’t wanna kiss you so don’t bother to pucka. Tilt your head to one side here comes my teeth I’m gonna suckya. I like my women dead and full of blood ’cause I’m a nighttime plasma-suckin’ vampire stud. I can’t stop suckin’ once I start. Oh the only way to slow me, st’ run a stake through my heart.

Ooh that feels good, EVERYBODY! Ok, just me.

Well by day I drive me a mailman jeep. And everybody thinks that I’m a brainless creep. But when the sun drops low and the moon sits high I become one lean mean blood-eatin’ vampire guy. Don’t give me no cross and don’t give me no pain. Just lie there and moan and let me suck on your veins.

Cause I’m a blood suckin’ postman. Yes I’m a blood-suckin’ postman. And I really, really, really don’t wanna be alone tonight.

Well babe you’re lookin’ just a little-bit frigid. I think the rigormortis has made you rigid. Let me put you near the fire to warm you up. And once your blood’s nice and hot babe it’s suck, suck, suck. And while I wait for your tissues to soften I’ll take me a nap in my fur-lined coffin.

What am I howlin’ for? Werewolves howl.

Oh when the sun comes up and the rooster starts a crowin’, I’ll be outside in my postal jeep with nobody knowin’ I’m a blood-suckin’, mail-droppin’, fang-barrin’, jeep-drivin’, red, white and blue but mostly red blood-suckin’ postman.

Words & Music by Stefan Marks

Thirty one cents is all it takes to kill a man in the electric chair A loaf of bread is fifty nine.

Do you ever feel like you’re living a cartoon? Do you ever feel like you’re living on the moon?

Words & Music by Stefan Marks

Well you can find love in my apartment but you’ll never find a glove in my glove compartment cause I don’t believe in keepin’ things that don’t belong. Are you with me so far? Good. Ok. Workin’ in the post office everyday wo makes me just a little bit ANGRY. I wanna go to a place I’ve never been and have everybody turn and say HEY it’s him. Well I wake up early cause I can’t sleep. I ain’t got time for countin’ sheep. I gotta get outside and load my jeep I’m a postman. #1, #2, #3. Postman, letterman, call me what you wanna call me mainman bossman man who can #1 M-A-L-E M-A-N I’m a MALEMAN.

Oh ooh kooka la kooka lay kooka locka locka lo kooka lay kooka la la lo. Ooh kooka lay kooka lakooka locka locka lo kooka lay kooka locka locka lo lo. Ooh kooka lay kooka la kooka locka locka lo kooka lay kooka locka locka lo. Ooh kooka locka locka lay kooka locka locka lo kooka locka locka lo

Well you can tell a man by what he looks like but you better tell a man by what he says and what he does cause if he doesn’t say nothing he ain’tworth a damn and if he don’t do nothin’ don’t do nothin’ for him. If he don’t do nothin’ don’t do nothin’ for him. If he don’t do nothin’ if he don’t do nothin’ if he don’t do nothin’ don’t do nothin’ for him. Well ish biddily oden doden boo boppin be boppin boppin fresh fresh bubblegum icky bicky boo. That’s what we say when there’s nothing to say but this is what we do when there’s nothing to do well.

Praise the Lord she’s the mailman’s daughter Praise the Lord she’s the one that I love.

She said she was gonna leave me I said that’s all right with me cause if she leaves me, I’ll leave her too and that’s all I ever really wanted. She’s the one that I want dear. She’s the one that I need. She’s the one that I want BABE and I think she wants me. But even if she don’t babe I still won’t be back for you no I won’t be back for you. No No No, baby. Cause even if she don’t want me I sure as hell don’t want youoooooooooooooooo. I don’t want youoooooo.

Words & Music by Ken Weiler

I’m your man. You’re my woman. I love you and you love me too. So why are you leaving me this way?

I’m so blue, I’m feeling green. My baby’s gone and I need some cream. Cause my coffee’s too hot and my baby she’s not around.

So strange my baby’s back in my mind. Why can’t she be you? So strange my baby’s back in my mind.

I’m so blue, I’m feeling green. My baby’s gone and I’m gonna scream. Not only did she leave me but she swore she’d never see me unless I got down on my knees and let her make me bleed.

So strange my baby’s back in my mind. Why can’t she be you? So strange my baby’s back in my mind.

Words & Music by Stefan Marks

Our team is what? Red hot! Our team is what? Red hot! Our team is R-e-d Red H-O-T and once we start we can’t be stopped RED HOT. RED HOT.

Our team is what? Red hot! Our team is what? Red hot! Our team is R-e-d Red H-O-T and once we start we can’ t be stopped – ooh baby baby ooh baby baby ooh baby baby ooh baby ooh.

I said a bricka braka fire cracka sis boom bah. Bugs Bunny Bugs Bunny rah-rah rah! Whoop there it is! Whoop there it is!

Ish-nay atten-fay better go the other way, up-down in-out better give another shout! Ahhhhh! Ahhhhh!

Strawberry shortcake banana split! We think your team’s full of—shift to the left shift to the right stand up sit down fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fightttt!

Ice cold beer makes me wanna CHEER! Ice cold gin, makes me wanna win! Ice cold duck makes me wanna Ooompa ooompa oompah dee doo I got another st—

Our team is what? Red hot! Our team is what? Red hot! Our team is R-e-d Red H-O-T and once we start we can’t be stopped RED HOT. RED HOTTTT!

George, George of the jungle, friend to you and me, a huh a huh a huh a George, George, George of the jungle, watch out for that…TREE!

Words & Music by Stefan Marks

I’m sitting in the shower listening to the drops. I run down stairs—have some barley pops B-A-R-L-E-Y P-O-P-P-S. BARLEY POPS YUM.

Jumping them haystacks two by two, doing all the things that the farm boys do. We’ll milk the cows and clean the stalls. Pee-yoo. Whoops that stinks. We’ll milk the cows and clean the stalls, then we’ll squash the cats with medicine balls.

Cause we’re farm boys. We ain’t got no brains. We got rocks in our heads and dirt in our veins.

Bippity bop to the square dance rock. Do wah doobidy wah bah. Bippity bop to the square dance rock. Do wah doobidy wah bah. Bippity bop to the square dance rock. Bippity bop to the square dance rock.

Well pa got mad just the other day. They shipped his cow to Paraguay.

# 2 (Moo…)

# 3 (Hello Mr. Cow, welcome to Paraguay. Passport please.)

# 2 (But I’m just a cow. Moooooo…)

Oh give me a home where the staple crops grow and the shade seldom visits the land ba-da-la-da-la-da-la. We sweat and we stink as our skin cracks and shrinks and the blisters explode on our hands.

Cow milkin’ is the thing for me. Oh shoe shufflin’ fills me heart with glee. Farm livin’ is the life for we, oh don’t you just love us corn-fed rappin’ boys.

So we rode our ponies to the local saloon sportin’ ten-gallon hats made of slaughtered raccoon. At night when ma mends me socks with yarn I take sally-sue and we skip to the barn. I said a skip I said a skip I said a skip a to my Lou Sue! Woo-hoo!

We’ll milk the cows and we’ll shuffle some shoe til’ we fall in the hay pitchin’ passionate Woo-woo-woo.

Cause we’re farm boys we ain’t got no brains we got rocks in our heads and dirt in our veins.

Bippity bop to the square dance rock do wah doobidy wah bah. Bippity bop to the square dance rock do wah doobidy wah bah. Bippity bop to the square dance rock. Bippity bop to the square dance rock.

Well the moral of this story as you can see is to get yourself a life and live happily…

Words & Music by Ken Weiler

Words & Music by Matt Kaminsky & Stefan Marks

Words & Music by Stefan Marks

Words & Music by Stefan Marks

After we get a good night’s sleep we wake up and shower and shave and jump in our jeeps. Then we head on down to the ole’ P.O. (Post office that is.) They load us up and off we go (Rrrrrrr.)

Do you know who we are (WHO) We’re the mailmen of this town. But do you know what we do (WHAT?) We deliver all the mail. (Huh-ho, Huh-ho) We deliver all the mail. (Huh-ho, Huh-ho) We deliver all the mail.

© 1993 The Four Postmen Music Publishing (ASCAP)

Recorded and Engineered in 2 days by Peter Damski (in his living room)

Cover Art by Ethan Kaminsky – Kaminsky Productions

Brett Pearsons

Brett Pearsons is one talented, funny dude. His energy is infectious and he puts everyone (audiences & band-members alike) in a great mood with his humor. But don’t let his jocular persona fool you. He’s a killer musician. As bassist for The Four Postmen he knocks it out of the park with his complex lines and execution. He’s also written some of their classic songs such as SHE IS WALKING AWAY, GENTLEMAN A, IMPORTANT DATES, and ARE YOU OKAY?.

Since graduating with a Bachelor of Fine Arts from Rutger’s University Mason Gross School of the Arts, Brett Pearsons has worked regularly as an actor in Film, TV, Commercials, Theatre and Video Game voice overs. Such titles include DIAGNOSIS MURDER, Ill-ADVISED, DEVIOUS BEINGS, OUTLAW TENNIS AND GOLF, and most recently iCARLY, REVIEW WITH FOREST MACNEIL and THE MENTALIST. He also stars in the TV pilot STARLAND P.C.

In addition to his acting work Brett has been involved in various comedy and music ventures. Brett is an alumni of iO West. He was musical director, song writer and played the mandolin for celt punk band The Mighty Regis for 7 years. The Mighty Regis toured all over the United States, including 2010’s Van’s Warped Tour and a St. Patrick’s Day tour in 2012 that culminated in opening for Dropkick Murphy’s in Boston’s House of Blues. His latest venture is TINY goliath, a folk rock trio that are performing their original music around Los Angeles.

Brett is also developing a variety of film and television scripts for his production company, sad wombat.

Check out brettpearsons.com

Geoff Dunbar

Geoff Dunbar is not only the drummer for The Four Postmen, he also owns an impressive recording studio (GKD STUDIOS) where he has served as producer, engineer, and mixer of many T4P albums.  He’s the real deal – a college professor who taught music recording at Cal State Los Angeles, Cypress College, U.C. Riverside, and currently at Pasadena City College.  He loves to write, record, arrange, and produce music, and has written some of The Four Postmen’s crowd favorites such as STALK-HER and DWEET, to name a few.

When not playing with The Four Postmen, he brews his own beer and gets to really challenge himself playing drums and writing music for the “musically unpredictable and lyrically thoughtful” THE OBVIOUS WISH. He also serves as a freelance contractor for the US Dept. of Defense in the “Music as a Weapon” division.

Stefan Marks

Stefan Marks is a singer, songwriter, and guitarist for The Four Postmen. His acerbic wit and unique perspective of the world serve as the primary basis for the approach and tone of the band’s music and performance style.

An accomplished playwright, Stefan has written and directed over 25 plays and has received multiple Ovation Award nominations. In 2011 he won Ovation Awards for Best Original Play and Best Actor for his play, HELLO. His newest musical play MIDDLE 8 (starring The Four Postmen), opens November 9th, 2018 at the Stella Adler Theatre in Hollywood.

As an actor and voice-over artist, he has voiced hundreds of commercials, held numerous national campaigns, and has appeared in countless commercials and tv shows.  You can check him out on IMDB by clicking HERE.

Stefan is also a kick-ass banjo player.

Matt Kaminsky

Matt Kaminsky is a singer, songwriter, and keyboardist for The Four Postmen.

As a voice-over artist he has voiced countless video games and hundreds of commercials, most notably multi-year national campaigns for HONDA and T-MOBILE. As an actor he has an extensive list of TV and film credits. You can check him out on IMDB by clicking HERE.

He married his college sweetheart, Dotty, in 1994 and they have 2 kids.

Ken Weiler

Ken Weiler is a singer, songwriter, and lead guitarist for The Four Postmen.  He’s been playing guitar since the 3rd grade and has performed hundreds of shows with The Four Postmen. Ken received an MFA in acting from Rutgers University where he studied under Bill Epser. As an actor he has an extensive resumé including roles on BLUNT TALK, GOLIATH, C.S.I, CRIMINAL MINDS, and GRAY’S ANATOMY, to name a few. Check him out on IMDB by clicking HERE.

When not playing with the band, he can be found teaching acting and writing puzzles for America’s favorite game show.